Wordy Wonderland

Drama and tiny communities

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There has been a lot of drama in the M/M (romance) community as late. I’m grateful that I can watch from afar and haven’t been involved, although it is commentary on my general lack of involvement in online things. But moving on…

One of the problems with the M/M romance community is that it’s small. So every little thing that happens causes waves of reaction that seems to reach every corner of the community. Many times while the original issue is a big deal, it’s probably not as big a deal as everyone’s reaction makes it seem.

Along those lines, because of its size, everyone feels the need to react, to give their feedback/thoughts, and announce where they stand on the issue. The internet (and social media) in general have made this happen even moreso. But ultimately it’s just a lot of gossiping. Did X happen? Yes. And yes, some people have a right to scream their emotions from the rooftops.

But the number of people directly involved probably wasn’t that big. And if you’re one of the parties screaming about X, then you’re probably more part of the problem. The solution? Don’t scream. State your piece, then move on. And if you aren’t really involved in the matter, just move on. Watch and listen and be there if your friends need a shoulder. But that consoling should probably be moved to a private medium (email/IM/chat) rather than clogging twitter feeds.

Now, I’m in no way saying you can’t/shouldn’t feel something about what’s happening. But just ask yourself if you really need to put your own two cents in. And if you have enough information about the subject to be PUTTING your two cents in. Are you taking sides too quickly? While you want to support a friend, make sure your friend has their facts straight as well.

I just think the community as a whole would benefit from not overreacting–or reacting too quickly–when events go down. Take a deep breath. Sleep on it. And then reappraise the situation.

That’s how I hope to handle things, should I ever actually be active during (or involved in) one of these events. And I suppose it’s a good rule of thumb for dealing with events in all our lives, but if you’re directly involved…I think there’s some leeway.



Author: bldayhoff

A writer in the works.

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